In Memoriam Stevhan Wayne Gobble

Stevhan was the model for the comic book character John Constantine in "Hell Blazer", as his close friend Tim Bradstreet was the animator. This photo was taken as part of that effort.

Today (Wednesday May 20, 2009) my friend Spiro called to tell me that our good friend Stevhan Gobble died in a scooter accident on his way to work in Chicago. He was 40.

As always, it hurts and stings intensely to lose someone we love, and I can only imagine the pain his fiancee Brenda and Stevhan’s family are going through. My heart goes out to them.

I first met Stevhan 7-8 years ago when we worked in the same restaurant. In some ways Stevhan and I were an odd pairing as friends. In the years I first knew him, Stevhan had a cynicism and sharp edge that might not have been an obvious fit with my upbeat optimism. Nevertheless, we became fast friends as I was drawn to Stevhan’s unique energy like so many others were. I simply enjoyed being around him, and struggle to describe his effect on me in much more detail than that. I can say with confidence that I laughed at least once and learned at least one new thing every occasion we shared.

We both moved on from the restaurant. We saw each other less, but never drifted. As is always the case with the early departed, I have endless “wishes” for Stevhan. More time. One more shared laugh. An easier fate for Brenda, together with Stevhan. A comfortable aging. Little Stevhans. A shared drink where two aged men chat and share a 40-year-old-memory.

Among all of those regretful wishes accompanying our passed friend, of course I selfishly wish I saw him more and knew him better. In recent years, it seemed to me that Stevhan was happier and that the sharp edge was now smooth. I wish I knew for sure, but I think he had mellowed and matured and had become patient. I’m so happy for him that he seemed to find that peace in life. That subtle but central evolution, together with the plans he had with Brenda, make the pain of the sudden loss terribly acute.

We made a point of seeing each other almost every time I’d return to Chicago.  The last time I saw him was on the last night of my most recent trip home in March of 2009. We had seen each other 3 times that previous week, which was more than usual. I merely looked at him on his front porch and said, “thanks man, see you”.  And I think he said “not if I see you first”. I’d like to re-do that casual goodbye.

In that spirit, a sharing and recording of a few random memories from my friendship with Stevhan:

• a Christmas party that my former roommate Andy and I had when we lived together in Chicago’s South Loop. He met my sister Therese and her now-husband Sean (on their first date that night!) and said outrageously nice things about me to her. I appreciated that. Compliments from Stevhan were always valued at face, making them that much more flattering.
• going to a Chicago Bulls game on Halloween night with he and Spiro. I wore his gorilla suit–it was 100 degrees and smelly inside that thing. They put us on the Jumbotron–I think Stevhan went with an Elvis get-up that year–sitting in about the 5th row. Stevhan loved Halloween, and we had great fun that night.
• Henry. Stevhan’s beloved dog who recently passed away also. Upon Henry’s death Stevhan wrote an e-mail to his friends with photos of Henry’s happy life, and the message was short enough to quote in it’s entirety here. The subject line was “Best dog ever.” The message: “Henry died Sunday at home on his blanket with his head on my lap. It was painless and stress free. He was almost 16. He had a lot of friends. I thank them all. The best living dog title is now up for grabs.” Classic Stevhan: just the facts.
• Music. In addition to the Bulls, Stevhan and I shared a passion for music. He introduced me to a lot of great albums and bands, including Neutral Milk Hotel, Son Volt, and The Magnetic Fields. Music was a huge part of his life, he played bass in various bands through the years and was correctly proud of his music collection and taste. (Here is a CLASSIC youtube clip he sent me of Stevhan playing bass at the Metro in Chicago many years back (great hair, Stev). His band is doing “Rapper’s Delight” and in addition to laying down the funky bassline, he raps a piece and has a close up at about the 2:30 mark in the video. If you click the link you also get the bonus of seeing their hilarious band name.)
• after D-Rose and Bulls served notice and won Game 1 against the Celtics in this year’s Eastern Conference quarterfinals, Stevhan texted me, which I don’t think I responded to. Of course, I wish I had responded now. I think it was our last communication, and I dropped the ball on responding to him.

Our challenge is to use the sorrowful wish for one more conversation as a reminder to value every precious moment we have with our loved ones.

Stevhan was generous, always sharing a laugh or his wit. He was a rare friend, richly and vividly unique. The tapestry of my world is less vivid without him. I will miss him.

Rest in Peace my good friend.

More Photos and Stevhan’s Obituary , after the jump…

For an amazing collection of photos, most of which taken by Tim Bradstreet in their work together creating the John Constantine character for “Hell Blazer”, click here. Thanks so much Tim, both for creating this incredible memorial on facebook and also for giving Stevhan’s face immortality.

The mustache drawn on the picture and the things he's a "fan" of are just so Stevhan.

One side of Stevhan as I remember him: making delicious homemade food at one in a succession of his similar-style Chicago apartments. Hat tip to Tim Bradstreet for the photo.

Stevhan's Obituary from the State Journal-Register